Tuesday, November 15, 2016

On going and coming home again

     Last night there was a super moon -- the closest the moon's been to the earth in sixty-eight years and will be for a long time, they say, so we observed by building a big fire and burning all the cardboard boxes left over from the stand. Then we howled at the moon, just a little, because it seemed like the right thing to do.

     A few days ago I got on a plane and flew for the first time in my young life. I thought I'd be scared out of my wits and my plane would be late and I'd get lost and probably be kidnapped or something equally horrible. Turns out the only thing I have to worry about is my imagination, because it wasn't really scary. What it was was incredible. From the moment we took off till we landed again I couldn't stop staring out the window, wondering how this was possible, what those towns down there were, how anybody could tell where they were going without road signs but marveling that there are people who can. The day was cloudy and gray when we took off, but we rose higher and higher until the plane burst through the layer of clouds and then suddenly everything was bright, and the moon was so close I could've reached for it, and the clouds looked like fluffy white hills, like in that Barbie movie my sister and I used to watch over and over. I guess everybody else on my flight had done it a million times, because they all dozed off or scrolled through their phones. But I'm from Stillwater and it was a pure miracle.

     Landing in Indiana, I spent the weekend with a very special girl to celebrate her birthday...we went to Barnes & Noble (and I succeeded in NOT spending all the money in my wallet, which proves there's always a first for everything) and her first country concert, and I got to meet her folks and get to know her better and it was a huge honor. It takes awhile to process, so many new things happening in just a few days -- flying, meeting people, eating squid, learning more about how to be a friend.

     Sometimes it's hard to know who you are in a place you've never been to before, without the people you've known all your life. I like to think I'm a strong personality and I can hold my own anywhere. I think that, and then I'm thrown into a new situation, where my folks aren't with me and everything is different and I can't really remember who the ball cap-wearing, cider-drinking, sarcastic, flippant Emma is or how to be her. It's not a bad thing, really, because you learn, and it's exciting. But it stretches you, at least it stretches me, and it's not the easiest thing in the world.

     Here's the easiest thing in the world. When you get off your plane and walk out to the main terminal and see your mama and your sister, and hug them and tell them all about it while you go back to your car and then talk and laugh all the way back, knowing that you're going home.

     Friends are gifts, all of them, and each one the Lord sends your way for an important reason. But there's nothing like your family for feeling at ease, or for making stupid puns, or speaking your mind, or asking hard questions. When you come home to your family, you let down all your walls and everything they keep in and nothing, not a thing, has ever been as natural or as right.

     At least, this is how I felt yesterday. I'd only gotten three hours of sleep so basically everything anyone said was funny and I was probably acting halfway inebriated all the way home from the airport but with Mama and Sadie, it doesn't matter. Here's to the mothers and sisters and fathers, and brothers if you have them, who don't care if you're an idiot and if your laugh sounds like Fleischmann's old girlfriend on Northern Exposure and love you because you're one of their own.

     "Why do you go away? So you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."     ~ Terry Pratchett

     Many, many thanks to A and her family for letting me be one of them for a few days, and to Nanoo for thinking I was pretty enough and interesting enough to possibly have a boyfriend somewhere. ;-)



  1. how do you put into words what I feel about my family?!!? *sighs* you're magical.

    you. ate. squid. my darling, when you come visit me SQUID WILL NOT BE ON THE MENU. lol!!! What was it like tho?

    Honestly, I love this post. Think it is my favorite ever.... *nods* yup, it is.

  2. *happy sigh*

    I needed this to make my day absolutely brilliant. It seriously just keeps getting better and better! But anyways, enough about my day - let's talk about your writing, shall we?!


    I'm so glad your trip went well! I think I'd actually enjoy going on a plane, but perhaps the being alone part would be scary... and I can't help but squeal YOU ATE SQUID?! I don't THINK I've eaten squid. I've eaten oysters, but not squid... huh. Wouldn't mind to try it. :D

    Oh my word YES. Family is incredible. I honestly say WHATEVER is on my heart or on my mind (serious or silly) to my family and it's such a blessing. I reckon I'd explode with them. It's funny to think that God placed a bunch of people in our lives to live alongside with, for ALL of our life. I have 7 people I get to share my life with - my parents and 3 sisters and 2 brothers. We all live in the same house, we all have the same silly sense of humour, we all make mistakes and forgive each other, we all laugh at each other, and we all do life together. And it's SUCH a beautiful thing.

    I love that quote.

    Oh, and I love you. :)

    ~Miss Meg

  3. I've only flown once, and thank goodness my dad was with me. I was terrified, because, well, it's an AIRPLANE for Pete's sake. I, being fond of history, have read more than a few horrific accounts of famous crashes, so getting into that plane was intimidating. Then once we started off it was really quite dreadful. I get motion sick. Really REALLY motion sick. But I didn't get it as bad as my dad, so I count my blessings.

    We were flying at night, and I was really disappointed, because what's the point of a window seat if you can't see anything? But as we started to land I saw Detroit. Detroit by day is a mess. Detroit by night, from above, is BEAUTIFUL. It's a sea of silver and gold sparkles. It looks like sun on water.

    Then, best of all...I got to see my family again. I one hundred percent agree with Terry Pratchett. When your're with your family for a long time, you start to focus on negatives. Your sister nags, your brother blames every bad thing on other people-even if it's primarily his fault--another sister talks back...but when you go away and you finally get to see them again, you forget all the discord and simply realize that even though they are the people who annoy you the most, they're also the people you love the most--and who love YOU the most. Nobody in the world loves me as much as my parents do, and sometimes I get impatient to get out and start doing things on my own, but there is nobody in the world who loves me more than my parents and siblings, so being home is good, even when I'm not always perfectly happy with how things are going.

  4. I love flying! And it's always miraculous. I get really excited and cheerful, even when I'm flying with small children and know I'll spend the next hour or two doing everything in my power to keep them from annoying people. It's exhilarating. When I fly by myself, I always try to get a window seat because I love doing exactly what you described -- looking down at the world and imagining what's going on.

    But, as Jane Austen says, there's nothing like staying home for real comfort :-)

  5. This was so beautiful, and I related to it muchly. Lovely, lovely words, Emma. :)
    (I don't understand how people can not stare out the windows on planes. I hope I always will, because it's such an amazing experience and one I don't think we should take for granted.)


Thanks for your comments!