Monday, January 23, 2017

Grateful on a January Evening

     The snow melted and today it was almost 60 degrees and I'm a little confused because it legit feels like spring.

     Something about January makes my creativity levels skyrocket. I can be empty of words for weeks and then crazy January weather hits and suddenly I'm plotting out novels and thinking about submitting magazine articles and writing poems, of all things! I remember last year one day late last winter when the snow was melted and I went outside and sat in the bed of my dad's truck and read a book for hours, inhaling the smell of manure from the field by the house and the tingling feeling of winter crossing over with early spring. :-)

     Sometimes I get anxious. It's weird because so many things I'm so chill about, and then I'll agree to do something and find myself in a whole new setting where I feel totally inept and inadequate, and I start to doubt myself. Will I be able to do it, what if someone doesn't like it, what if I mess up?


     My faith should not be in myself anyway. I'm just a little girl in a huge world I have no control over. I say stupid stuff and get nervous My faith should be in the Lord, who never doubts and never leaves and never fails. He's got this whole thing in the bag and a lot of times I just need to calm down.

     Besides, there are so many things to be grateful for. Gratitude is so much bigger than fear.

- church: that place where you can go and you know you'll be greeted with smiles and hearty handshakes you'll sit down in a pew with the people you love most in the world and the Word of God will be spoken and life will make sense again. I love my church so much. A year ago I wouldn't have thought I'd look forward to Sunday mornings so much. I get to stand up on the platform with a bunch of older folks and sing old hymns I don't even know and I love it.

- far away friends: they might be scattered all across the globe but I wouldn't love them more if they all lived in my neighborhood. (Though that would be really nice.) You all rock and if I didn't have you I'd be generally nastier. And I wouldn't get so much mail and that'd sorta suck.

- homeschool homies: every Tuesday night my sister and I hop in my truck and drive a sort of ridiculously long way to a tiny little house where nobody lives anymore and it's only lit up once a week when a bunch of homeschooler kids get together and dance reels and jigs. I've been surrounded by these people all my life but I had to get older to realize how much they mean to me.

- western miniseries: laugh if you want. But my television series make me happier than a lot of things. Have you ever stayed up late at night by yourself and watched episode after episode of a show just because you could? I'm listening to the soundtrack of Into the West and remembering those summer nights when my family went to bed and my sister was away at camp so I filled the void with frontier exploring, Indian traditions, gold prospecting, and building the transcontinental railroad.

- the squad: even if it's down to just the three of us, we're still going strong. There's no one I'd rather go bowling with on a Friday night.

- the surprises: and the beautiful fact that I'm always learning new things. Which is sometimes terrifying. But it's a beautiful thing when you really think about it.

     So I'll give thanks, because that's the least I can do.


P.S. I'm eighteen in a week and two days! Whaaaat!


  1. Amen sister! I was nodding my head and smiling inside the whole time I was reading it.

  2. uhg okay YESSSSSSSSSS everything is so yes.

    can I come watch westerns with you tho?? PLZ xD


    1. Yeah, how bout we watch Bonanza together and swoon over Michael Landon?

    2. Excuse me, I'm sorry but -Hey, you know Bonanaza!?! Land sakes, why didn't you tell me! I was raised on Bonanaza, haha. :P

      (Michael Landon always was and forever will be the best part about it, though. Although I always had a soft spot for Adam, too. And Hoss.)

      ~Miss Meg

    I miss them and I felt so at home there. :-(

  4. This post = beauty.


    I know what you mean--I feel like I appreciate my friends more and more the older I get, too.

  5. It feels like spring here too! My creativity sometimes comes and goes so randomly, right now I'm thinking too much about school, which is one big creativity drainer if you ask me. And those homeschool dances: I can only imagine how fun those must be! Every week too!! I went to something like that once with my homeschooled friends, and it's experiences like that that let you know you've found a good group of people to hang out with.

  6. Ahh. *cue heart eye emojii*

    First of all, that picture is REALLY COOL. Or maybe I'm just easily impressed, haha. But me likes it. :D

    Ooohh, you are writing poems?! *raises eyebrows* Well, I for one would like to read them. :D

    Awww... this post. <3 (And *cough*, that is one good point - I feel as though if you didn't know me, you would have a lot less mail. Haha. :P)

    WHAT?!!! Oh my gosh, I want to come to your homeschool homies RIGHT NOW!! That is so not fair - man, why don't the kids *I* know like dancing. >.< :P

    Have I ever stayed up late at night watching episode after episode by myself just because I could? Um... *looks guilty* I may have... *ahem* (Also, when I'm away on holidays for 5 weeks, I'm going to be sleeping on the lounge chair, which means Late Night Television Privileges. *rubs hands gleefully*)

    See ya round. I'm going campin'. ;)

    ~Miss Meg

  7. This is beautiful. I've been learning more and more what it means to trust God ESPECIALLY in the rough spots (but I still have a looooot to learn). "My faith should be in the Lord, who never doubts and never leaves and never fails." Love it. <3

    I wholeheartedly believe that books and movie and tv shows are one of the best therapies in life. :)



    ~ "Gratitude is so much bigger than fear."
    ~ homeschool homies
    ~ the squad

    ALL OF IT.

  9. Ok, love the fact that your obsessed with westerns. Big Valley, Bonanza, The Virginian, The Young Riders and Dr. Quinn are some of my favorite tv shows. Found your blog through Naomi and I'm not sure if I've ever commented before or not but I love reading your blog.
    Also love country music. Maybe it's because I'm from the TN but I can't imagine not loving country or blue grass.
    LOVED your post.


Thanks for your comments!