Sunday, January 1, 2017

Reflections and stuff.

     I've been thinking -- because it's new year's, you know, and that's what you're supposed to do -- and tonight I'm sitting on the basement floor up against the freezer paging through all my journals from 2016. This year I filled four. Four notebooks full to busting of silly girl emotions and angry explosions and questions about life, some with answers and some still waiting on it. Going back and reading through, it's like seeing everything laid out in a clean perspective. Sadness after losing people and the ends of long-term crushes and emphatic proclamations of love for Orry Main and Joel Fleischmann. Looking back, I wrote about freaking everything. You'd be surprised at a lot of the things I wrote about. I thought about sharing some here but it's not going to happen. That's too embarrassing.

    2016 was super weird and kind of awful and all in all the most exciting year ever. Even in my little world things changed and happened. I wrote three books and spent three weeks with my best friend and started driving all over the place and saw Hunter Hayes in concert and traveled far and wide, and lost some friends but found so many good ones. Then I bought a truck and wrote another book, and flew on a plane for the first time and rode on a roller coaster, and learned that "it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go." {Randy Travis}

    In the big world beyond my farm I know there was a lot of tragedy. I don't know how many blog posts I've read and people I've heard say this was the worst year they remember. It's those people out there who've been hit hard and still look upwards that give me hope -- the ones who got flooded and banded together to help each other out and the ones who lost the people they loved most in the world and used it to bring truth and beauty to the world. The truth is I'm ridiculously blessed, and I think you are too. Because look. We made it through another year, we had good times in spite of it all, and here we're given another one.

The best parts were the sunny days, the long truck rides, the laughing over stupid things and being surprised by kindness and suddenly finding best friends and getting lost on dirt roads and screaming on the bleachers and dancing in the crowds.

     I don't know about this whole 2017 thing but I have the feeling it's going to prove itself a worthy challenge. What do you think? I'm looking forward to being employed and done with school and 18 so I can check out dvd's with my own library card. And maybe buying a new pair of boots. But we'll see how that employment works out.

     What was your favorite thing about last year?
     What did you do that you'd never done before?
     What are you looking forward to this year?



  1. Happy New Year, Emma!! <3

    I love this post :-) Let me see . . . I graduated from college last year! And started my master's degree! Two things I've never done before (obvs.) (haha)

    This year, I'm looking forward to taking more cool classes at schoool, and writing a lot more, and watching more movies (that's actually kinda my New Year's resolution, watch more good movies :-) )

  2. I love that picture. That bright yellow against the cloudy sky looks pretty.

    You are braver than I am. I have not yet read through my journal because I just hate looking at past me. Ugh. That girl had soooooooo many problems. (This one does too, it at least I've worked out a few of 'em.)

    My favorite thing about this year was being able to spend so much time with my Dead Grandma. (She isn't actually dead, that's just what we call her since a certain incident that happened in the fall.) She's awesome. I can go to her with anything. She understands me even better than my own mum sometimes. She's the kind of grandma you don't have to be formal around. She's just great. I'm so glad I got to spend more time with her.

    In January I flew for the very first time. It was kinda terrible. I was airsick. My suitcase weighed too much and my dad had to pay extra for it and I felt really bad about that. (We didn't have any scales to weigh it at home though...) It was dark and cloudy, so my view was really blah, even though I had a window seat. Until we started to land in Detroit. Detroit in the day time is really ugly, but at night from above it's a glimmering sea of gold and silver. It was stunning.

    I hope this year to learn to drive. I've waited far too long and it needs to just get done. My dad just bought an old truck. It's small and red. He said it's for me to practice. You and I will match!

    Happy New year Emma, I hope you get that new pair of boots.

  3. every single post I relate to so much!! Like literally... sometimes I wanna cry cause you understand....

    also, I want a new pair of boots too.

  4. *facepalm* Emma, like, how.

    HOW. How do you write like this?! It's awesome. Never stop filling notebooks with wild and crazy thoughts. <3

  5. What was your favorite thing about last year?

    Getting published!

    What did you do that you'd never done before?

    Spent the night away from all my children.

    What are you looking forward to this year?

    Finishing two writing projects, the movie Logan, and my fifteenth wedding anniversary!

  6. Picture credit: Me.

    Great post, also, and your words have my heart.

  7. How do you do it? Put words together that way? Well, whatever you're doing, don't stop. 'Cause this was beauitful. :)

    I personally didn't realize that most people regard 2016 as an awful year. I just figured that there are always hardships with every year, but I guess it's also because I'm not an American and I wasn't involved in the whole election side. ;) And thankfully this year we did not have any particularly dreadful terrorist attacks here in Australia (we did the year before)... I feel like I didn't do quite as much as I thought I would, but I learnt more than I thought I would, in 2016. All that aside, I DID get to do some crazy fun stuff that year. I got involved with our local shows, and helped with the horses and worked with a lot of different people. I went to a couple bush dances and got to a dance with a lot of fun people, I learnt more songs and went further in music, I went on spontaneous adventures, I learnt how to crack a whip, hehe, I turned sixteen and got my driving license... I also got ahead in school and managed to complete some big books with good marks, and when I put in so much effort, it was so nice to see that it payed off. I had a couple of problems that I didn't expect that year, but I learnt how to work through them. God showed me how important it is to trust in Him with every little detail of our lives, and how rewarding that is. I learnt to not even try to live up to the expectations of others - you can't possibly please everyone. I learnt to be stronger.

    I feel like I'm finding out more and more just who I am, and it's quite a process. I'm beginning to enter the 'big kid' world, and it sure as heck isn't simple and easy. But I'm happy with where I am at the moment, and interested to see where life takes me this year. I'm ready.

    ~Miss Meg

    P.S. What? You can't have your own library card until you're 18?! You can get them when you're like, 5, over here. :P

    1. You're so hopeful and positive -- it's contagious! Don't stop! :-) I'm happy it was a rewarding year for you. It really was, for me too.

      (I got my library card when I learned how to write, which was maybe when I was five, but you can't check out movies until you're 18.)

  8. This was a beautiful post, Emma. :)

    I'm hoping to get my first job this year, too...we'll see! Good luck with your search! Do you have any specific ideas in mind? I'm probably going to try at the library. :P (You can't check out dvds till you're 18?? I never heard of that before!)

  9. Hello! I love your blog so much; you have a really beautiful design! My favourite moment of 2016 was when I took part in my school show as the lead. I have followed your blog because I think it’s so good!!! I would love it if you had a look at my blog; I’m a very passionate teenage blogger but I’m quite new and really need the support! Perhaps we could become friends? Thank you so much, Jeani xxx


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